Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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