Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
