apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
