Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
