and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
