Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
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Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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