At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
