So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
