Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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