u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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