My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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