I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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