honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
