You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
