I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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