i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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