Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Your topless pictures make me question reality
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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