you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
