I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize