hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize