Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
