Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
