I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
