Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
do nipples grow back?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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