dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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