i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
