the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
