Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
