he puts the penis in happiness.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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