Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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