Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize