My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
