now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
