the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
