My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
