There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
