My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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