we made out on top of his cat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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