Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
