There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
