Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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