people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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