there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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