I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
