I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize