I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
