What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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