We won't sleep together?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
