I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
