There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
