what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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