he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
