It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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