do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Enjoy the penises
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize