How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
