Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
