who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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