Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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