Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
