We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
