sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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