I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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