i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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