Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
