im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize