i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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