Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
